A Different Race
by Grace MacNeir
“Keep going. Keeping going!” sixteen year old David Dawson
chanted to the steady beat of his running shoes drumming on the pavement. He was
completing his tenth mile and his legs were vibrating with fatigue. On the pitch
black road, reflectors shone back at him as cars shot by. His mother’s warning
echoed in his head. “David, I don’t want you running on the road at night. It is
too dangerous! It isn’t worth the risk of getting hit!”
To David running the steepest curve laden road in Fairview,
North Carolina even at night was worth the benefits. At this point David’s
reasoning was over shadowed by one goal, to win the Cross-Country National
Championship in Atlanta. He was running 85 miles a week to train for the
five-kilometers race. Everything had become second to his goal – his family,
friends, school, and his personal safety.
First, he saw the headlights stretching around the hair-pin
curve. He tried to jump out of the way, but the blue car zoomed straight for him
as if it was trying to run him down. Blinding light, screaming tires, and then
darkness engulfed him.
A strong odor of disinfectant stung in his nose. He struggled
to hear the murmuring
voices but it seemed his ears were jammed with cotton. Slowly, he distinguished
his
mother’s relieved face bending over him.
“Where am I?” he croaked. Mrs. Dawson began to cry, then
whispered two words. “ Car accident” The scene came flooding back. The lights,
the scramble to escape, and then the cold blackness. Through his mothers tears,
he half heard the words he thought would end his goal forever.
“You were in a accident... a drunk driver hit you. Your leg
had to be amputated below the left knee. You’ve been in surgery for 12 hours.
The doctors weren’t sure if you’d pull through.”
“This is impossible,” thought David. “I can still feel my
leg. It’s there! It’s still there!” Once more he slipped from consciousness.
Hours later he awoke.
“Thank God,” he thought. “It was only a dream.” His relief
shrunk like a balloon popped with a pin when he saw the stump of his leg wrapped
twice its size in bandages, cradled in a sling. It was not a dream. It was a
nightmare. He looked wildly around the room searching for anything to draw his
eyes away from his mutilated limb. He called out for his mother. She could do
nothing to comfort him. For the next hour all David could do was sob as his
mother smoothed his brown hair.
The hardest part of the weeks following the accident was not
the intense painful physical therapy but phantom pain. David would feel pain
where his leg had been. Often he would forget, and reach down to scratch his
leg. Instead of connecting with his leg he would grasp thin air. Another
chilling reminder of his loss was looking at the deflated side of the stark
white hospital sheet when he sat in bed. While David was still in the hospital
Coach Briggs, his cross-country coach, came to visit. When Coach Briggs walked
in David instantly knew he had just come from practice. His black stop watch was
swinging like a pendulum around his neck and he was wearing the same blue shorts
and yellow shirt he religiously wore to practice. David would always remember
his coach telling him he had six pairs of blue shorts, and yellow shirts. One
for everyday he ran. Coach Briggs walked the short distance to the wooden chair
beside the bed his running shoes squeaking on the spotless linoleum floor. An
awkward silence clothed the room until Coach Briggs spoke, ”I just wanted to
tell you that you will always be a runner.” David started to protest but stopped
as Coach Briggs continued.
“A prosthetic has been developed that has helped other
amputees start running again. It might work for you. It would take lots of hard
work and tons of therapy but I think you could do it.”
“I will never be able to run again! Even if I could use
prosthetic I wouldn’t have any balance! I would just fall over and make a fool
of myself. It is better if I just never think about running again!”
Coach Briggs sighed and looked around the room full of IV
cords and beeping machines.
“There is nothing I can say to make you change your mind. But I do want to say
one last thing. Feeling sorry for yourself is useless. What has happened is
impossible to change. You can’t change your circumstances, but you can rise
above them. Just like you rise above pain when you run a hard race.” Coach
Briggs stood and left, the door clicked softly behind him.
“ He doesn’t understand! He doesn’t have a half a leg!”
screamed David’s mind.
Tears poured from David’s eyes. When they hit it the bed the
noise was strange. It was a hollow, popping sound. David looked down and there
on his bed lay a tear-stained newspaper clipping. Bold, black headlines
proclaimed, “Sixteen year old Brian Wilson wins Junior Olympics!” Under the
headlines there was a picture of a tall boy hurling himself across the finish
line. Below the picture a caption said, “Sixteen year old Brian Wilson, one of
five hundred runners, won the National five mile race with a time of 15:03.”
David gasped, his time for that course was a 14:59. His coach’s parting words
sounded in his mind, “Feeling sorry for yourself is useless. Because what has
happened is impossible to change. You can’t change your circumstances, but you
can rise above them...” At that moment David knew that he could not allow his
misery to conquer him. He had to fight it, just like he fought to win on the
last stretch of every race.
Five months after surgery David was ready to try the
prosthesis. After he become familiar with walking he began making small attempts
to jog with the help of his coach and the permission of his doctor.
“One last lap! You can do it!” yelled Coach Briggs. David
could feel the stump of his knee rubbing back and forth in the plastic brace
breeding blisters despite the special sock. Teeth gritted with determination
David pushed himself into his last lap. Soon he was sprinting in his signature,
slightly uneven gate across the white finish line. A wall of agony slammed him
so hard it almost took his breath. Coach Briggs ran over as David collapsed to
the ground unable to put pressure on his leg.
“Are you okay David? Is your leg bothering you?” he asked. A
disfigured mass of irritated sores was revealed when Coach Briggs gingerly
peeled back the bloody sock. Teeth gritted David turned away. It felt as if
Coach Briggs was pulling back the top layer of his skin.
“David! You should have told me! You shouldn’t be running on
this leg! Do you want to get an infection?!”
“I just wanted to finish that lap. You told me too.”
“I also told you if there were blisters to stop and tell me.
I want you to go home right now and clean up!”
“Okay,” consented David his head throbbing with pain.
The next morning the pain had not dulled, and even minus the
sheet and blanket David
was burning with fever.
“Honey, you need to get up,” Mrs. Dawson’s voice drifted
through a wave of heat. Mrs. Dawson walked into his room, wall papered
with pictures of famous runners. Beside his bed lay a running shoe and a
prosthetic connected to a shoe. Both were in circled by crumbles of dry mud.
“David, are you all right?” Mrs. Dawson looked closer, David
was laying on
his bed too lethargic to speak. The sharp, familiar smell of disinfectant alerted David that
he was back in the hospital.
“He has a staph infection,” a voice said. “It would of killed
him if you wouldn’t of brought him in. We examined his leg and found multiple
severely infected blisters. We believe this is how the staph infection first
entered his body. Mrs. Dawson you should of cleaned his leg.”
“I didn’t know he had blisters, he never told me. He must of
pushed himself too hard running this week.”
Guilt burned fiercer than the fever. But soon it was over
whelmed by a foggy heat that
enveloped his body like cloud of steam.
“His is fever has been too high for too long! If we don’t
bring it down it could kill
him,” said another voice not as calm as the last.
For the next week David was once again a prisoner of the
hospital, his only companions were the television, bright cards heaped around
his bed, and his mother who had been juggling a day and night job ever since his
father left a year ago. Coach Briggs could not come see him because he was in
Atlanta Coaching a cross-country meet. Soon David was back home but still to
weak to practice.
“Mom please! Why can’t I run? It isn’t fair!” Yelled David
his loud voice consuming the tiny but clean kitchen.
“I don’t want you back in the hospital. The same thing might
happen! I can’t have you in the hospital again!”
“Mom, the only reason they got infected is because I didn’t
clean them, or listen to the doctor and Coach Briggs! It wasn’t because of
running!” protested David.
“No, David! You will not run. You almost died from that
infection! If I lose you I
won’t have anyone left!”
“I won’t make that mistake again. I promise. Please don’t
take running away from me. When I first lost my leg I made a promise to not
allow self pity or pain to win. If you take running away from me now, then I
lose. Before I lost my leg I let running consume my life. Now I know how
important the other parts are. But running is still really important to me!”
David pleaded.
Months later blisters were replaced with tough callouses and
the over whelming pain eased to a tender throb. It was five months after his
staff infection when David finally was able to run his first race.
“David! David!” yelled Coach Briggs motioning from behind a
green, chain link fence. So far today was the hottest day of the summer. David
felt as if the sun had fallen from the sky and was sliding down his shirt.
Despite the heat, he smiled. The small diamond on his mothers new wedding band
was glinting in the sunlight. On her shoulder rested Coach Brigg’s arm. On his
ring finger a new, gold wedding band shone also.
“Ok,” said Coach Briggs his green eyes staring into David’s
blue. “I’ve given this pep talk more times than I can count. But I can’t think
of one time that was more important than now. If you run as well as you did in
practice than you can make the National record for paraplegics. I know you have
the ability. But me knowing won’t help you win. You have to be the one that has
the goal.” David smiled without saying a word. He could not think of ones that
would sound right. As he walked away, he suddenly turned and said, “Thanks Dad.”
Coach Briggs gave him a big thumbs up and a tear slid down his mother’s cheek.
As David lined up with all the other runners, he glanced down
to check if his orange and black running shoe on his now familiar prosthetic was
tied. All boys moved into start position their calf muscles tense with
anticipation. The gun exploded but David did not really notice. Once more,
David’s breathing matched the now lopsided rhythm of his strides. He did not
hear the cheering crowds and he did not feel the burning sun. David ran not only
for the national record, he ran to fulfil a dream he thought had died. A dream
that he had now brought back to life.